Over the past 10 years, a lot has changed including my relationships and friendships. When I was in my early twenties, I would hold on to every relationship for dear life whether it was healthy or not. I thought that if I worked hard at it and gave it a valiant effort, every relationship and friendship could be repaired. But as I got older, I realized that all friendships were not made to last. Some people were in my life for a season and that was ok. I should never force a square peg into a round hole. I have learned that it is ok to lose friendships and relationships. Because the lost of those relationships make room for other God sent relationships.

Lesson 4: it’s ok to let go of seasonal friendships and relationships.

“And if a town refuses to welcome you, shake its dust from your feet as you leave to show that you have abandoned those people to their fate.” Luke 9:5

Over the past ten years, there have been many evolutions of me. Who is Felicia? My taste and enjoyment of foods have changed. My thoughts on certain subjects like religion and politics have changed and my relationships with friends have changed. But there are certain aspects of me that have stayed consistent. All of these aspects of me are not positive and I can be really hard on myself to become a better person each day. However, there are pieces of me that no matter how hard I try, I cannot change. These are the unique pieces that make Felicia who she is. Although I may not like all of these pieces, they are apart of me. I have learned to accept the good, the bad and the ugly of me because it’s me. Once I learned how to accept all of me, I became much more comfortable in my own skin and worked even harder to be the best Felicia that I know how to be—flawed and all!

Lesson 4: You have to accept yourself for who you are—flawed and all!

The mind is a powerful tool. In my mind I can convince myself to workout or not, to eat desserts or not, to have prayer time or not or to fellowship or not. In my mind, I can do any and all things, but I never truly realized and understood the power of my mind until I was challenged physically. There were times that I was in the gym working out and in my mind I was tired and because I was thinking about quitting and rationalizing it I would quit. But other times when I was tired, I told myself that I wasn’t and my energy levels increased tremendously. I learned that my thoughts controlled my actions and the minute I think and rationalize fear, insecurities, and other demeaning things that are not uplifting, I become whatever I was thinking. Our minds are powerful so we must keep it focused on things that are positive and true. A positive mind brings your body and spirit in line and gets the job done. What’s on your mind?

Lesson 3: My mind does matter!

Growing up my annoyance level was really high. Small things such as smacking on gum or making noise would irritate me. As I got older I learned how to deal with these minor nuisances. But then I became annoyed about bigger things. My husband is always so cool and calm. The things that annoy me don’t even bother him. When we were dating he shared with me that he was apart of 911 at the Pentagon and almost lost his life. After that occurrence he realized that the small things didn’t matter. Just earlier today I was in a car accident that totaled my brand new car, but by the grace of God, my husband and I walked away with minor scratches. This reminded me that the small things really don’t matter. Whether someone smacks on gum, it really doesn’t matter in the grand scheme of life. Time is so precious and those moments should be focused on spending time with you love ones and enjoying the time God has given us on earth.

Lesson #2: The small things don’t matter so please enjoy each and every moment. Time is precious.

One of the hardest but most freeing lessons that I have learned is forgiveness. I have experienced heartbreak, betrayal, slander, backlash and many other things that have cause me to bring experience unwanted emotions. Some would say that some of the offenses were unforgivable. My hardest moment of forgiveness I remember like yesterday. I felt like my heart had literally been broken into two pieces. The lie and betrayal had brought me to a place of anger and sadness that I had never been before. I felt in that moment that I never wanted to see or hear from this person again. The anger caused me to carry the hurt inside of me and replay the story to anyone that would listen. The more I told the story, the more I relived that event and it was definitely unhealthy for me. Meanwhile, the person that offended me had moved on and I was still left holding the offense. At that point I had a choice to make. Either I continue to relive the hurt or I can get up, pray, and forgive the offender. Once I forgave the offender I never bought it up the offense again and I was able to function in the presence of the offender without holding malice in my heart.

This lesson in forgiveness taught me that forgiveness it not to excuse the offense or diminish what happened but forgiveness is really about healing the wounds inside of me. Forgiving doesn’t mean that the offense didn’t happen or charge anyone as right or wrong but forgiveness means that the sting of the offense is working to be erased. As a Christian, I had to ask myself how could I pray and ask God to forgive me if I am not forgiving those around me. If we proclaim to be Christ like we must strive to live our lives as Christ would and that would be to forgive.

Lesson 1 of my 20s: Forgiveness is for me and not the offender.

Hello my ladies of SOAR!!! It’s been a while. Since I last blogged I have been working to complete my Masters and it has kept me on my toes. I am almost done and ready to do a praise dance right now. On June 14 I will leave my twenties behind and journey into my thirties. Some of you may say man you are still so young and guess what……….. YOU ARE RIGHT!!!!! I feel like I learned so much about myself in my twenties. I have experienced the spectrum of emotions and pushed the limits. I would love to share with you my experiences over the next thirty days with a series called Thirty Things My Twenties Taught Me. This blog for me will be therapeutic and in the process I hope it will remind you of some of the lessons you learned and perhaps give you little nuggets that you hadn’t considered. I hope you will journey with me and even leave feedback or comments. This shift in my life is exciting and I am overjoyed for you to go on this journey with me.

As I take part in the 40 days of Easter or Lenten Season I came across the below in my devotion and I wanted to share it with you ladies. It is a good time to mediate on John 3:16

An unknown, yet wise old sage once explained John 3:16 like this:

For God… the greatest Lover

so loved… the greatest degree

the world… the greatest company

that He gave… the greatest act

His only begotten Son… the greatest gift

that whoever… the greatest opportunity

believes… the greatest simplicity

in Him… the greatest attraction

should not perish… the greatest promise

but… the greatest difference

have… the greatest certainty

everlasting life… the greatest possession

Happy Monday Sisters!

2015 has arrived with a bang! Many of you have started off the year with new resolutions or goals for 2015. I, myself, adopted a new holistic model for my life. One of these changes was making sure that I am reading the word daily. As I began the year, the Lord brought me to the book of Nehemiah. For those who may not have read the book of Nehemiah, it is centered on the return of the Jews from Babylonian captivity and the rebuilding of the wall of Jerusalem. What was most intriguing about this account is I could tell God was with Nehemiah because even those he thought would not support him did. When Nehemiah arrived to build the wall of Jerusalem, there were those who doubted him and his ability to rebuild the wall. They laughed at him in the beginning, but when the realized that he could be successful, they began to plot against him. What intrigued me about Nehemiah was his attitude towards opposition. When Nehemiah heard about the plan to attack him and others rebuilding the wall, he didn’t stop or even dwell on the possibilities of those trying to destroy what he was doing. Nehemiah and the others just suited up and took shifts watching for intruders. One hand was used to build while the other, held a weapon. Nehemiah did not stop to tweet, or post a message on instagram he kept building. He knew that by rebuilding the wall, he had already won battle so there was no need to entertain his enemies.

Nehemiah displayed an unwavering focus. Would it be great if we all had the focus of Nehemiah? What would happen if we had an awareness of the naysayers but we didn’t allow them to stop us from rebuilding? How powerful would the kingdom of Christ be if we kept building in spite of the naysayers and our enemies? Sisters, we come upon all different types of people and spirits on a day-to-day basis and some are discouraging and will even make you question your goal. However, what God has started in you will be completed so keep building. When you are discouraged and want to quit, keep building. When the money is looking funny, keep building. God will not lead you to a place to leave you alone. I pray that wherever you are in your walk with Christ and fulfilling your purpose, never stop building.

One brick at time,

Felicia Smith

Hello my soaring princesses in Christ! The New Year has come with a bang and I have yet to write. The great thing about God is that I trust his timing even when I am not as expedient as I should be. It was just last week when I was working off site at headquarters and hopping a squat at someone else’s desk. Now, I had been in meetings all day so I felt like I needed to look in a mirror and freshen up my lipstick. As I took out my mirror and begin to refresh my lipstick, a man that’s works in the janitorial service came by and said, “Let me see.” I said, “No, I haven’t finished applying.” He said “Well everyone else saw you why can’t I.” I replied “Well everyone else saw me with a fresh application.” He said, “So you reapply all day.” I said, “Yes.” He said, “There is a word for that and its call conceited.” I said “No, but if that is what you want to call it, as I smiled and kept going. He was a little startled by my reaction. He said, “You weren’t even bothered by my comment? Your are not conceited but just sure of yourself.” I chuckled and he walked away. There was a time in my life that I might have been moved by that comment in a negative way but I was so glad that in that moment, I realized that I am no longer moved or my spirit rattled by the comments and opinions of others. I know who I am as a woman and a princess to the king.

As I played this story back in my head a couple of days later, I wondered why can’t I respond that way to other things when I am worried, upset, angry, or etc.? Why can’t I respond with confidence? If I truly am a princess of the king, why does the things of the world rattle me and cause a reaction that displays less than my belief in Christ? The word God place in my spirit was maturation. There are some areas in my life where I have matured enough to take a licking and keep on ticking but there are other areas that I need to mature. How do I mature? By dying to myself everyday, and through prayer, scripture, and being led by the spirit, our flesh begins to die and maturation is birthed. The dying process is painful because the things you want to say you can’t. The looks you want to give you can’t. But in the end, with maturation come assurance, peace and a closer walk with God. I charge you my sister that as you walked out of 2014 that it does not look the same as 2015. It is time for us to grow and die to our flesh. Join me on the 2015 journey of maturation.

Trying to die to my flesh so the spirit can live within me,

Felicia Smith

My church had a thanksgiving service last night and I went into the service with a totally different thought about what I would get out of the sermon. Because of the events this week, many people were filled with emotions and had questions in their heart that were unanswered. The Pastor posed the question “how can you sing and clap about Thanksgiving when everything around you causes your heart to be in sadness?” After he said something that I thought was profound. Thanksgiving is not a day, week, or thirty day challenge. Thanksgiving is a choice that you make every day. This was so profoundly true that it caused me to ponder on the power that lies within each of us.

Many people do not believe or has not tapped into the power that we have within to control our feelings and emotions. We have the power to think or say I am happy and then do just that; be happy. We have control over our emotions, thoughts and feelings. We have a choice each day to be happy or sad, unfulfilled or content, and to complain or be thankful. Today is a day before Thanksgiving and I ask that you choose thankfulness and being grateful. Not just today or tomorrow but every day. A minute of reflection will remind you of where you came from and how God has brought you to where you are today. Lastly, if you can’t find anything else to be thankful for, just thank God for his son Jesus dying on the Cross for our sins. Choose Thanksgiving because you have the power to choose!