Welcome Quest Blogger Quinetha Frasier

My car is almost 6 years old and it has been faithful from the day I drove it off the lot. However, in the past year, between inconsistent maintenance schedules and a lady running me off the road, my front end needed some serious work. Imagine pumping your brakes to go around a ramp and your car jerking back left, against the curve. Yikes! I spent about 6 months slowing down my car, in total expectation that it was going to pull back. I tried to get it fixed, twice, to no avail. The mechanics couldn’t find the source of the ‘jerk’. So, after buying new everything on the front end of my car, I continued to pump my breaks while turning the steering wheel back against the ‘jerk’. Then I found the perfect (mechanic) man. They found the problem, fixed the left core and “ta-da!” No more jerking when I hit the brakes. Then two days later, still smiling, I noticed that every time I slowed my car down, I habitually turned my steering wheel against the turn, preparing for ‘the jerk’. For no valid reason, besides habit, I was reacting unnecessarily.

 
A ‘Knee Jerk Reaction’: an automatic or reflex reaction; an immediate reaction made without examining causes or facts.

 
Here is the Knee Jerk reaction that we all can identify with…you are use to listening to the first two sentences that a person speaks in their defense, before your ‘knee jerk’ response is to respond negatively. Or when you feel a ‘certain way’ about a person that you work with, and as soon as they open their mouth to provide feedback, you feel your eyes rolling back in your head. I identify the most with this scenario: the times when I am faced with a situation or circumstance that look and feel familiar- because when it happened before, I didn’t get the result or reaction that I expected. So, when faced with something or someone who brings back that old feeling of helplessness or challenge, I ‘jerk’ back in fear. My real fear is that the situation may turn out the way that it did before. How do we know that it will? We don’t, because the decision to ‘jerk back’ is out of fear, not facts. Our knee jerk reactions have no real credibility. They are based on habits, not facts. As people of faith, we must be led by what we know- The Word and The Dependability of God-and not what we think or fear. Because when we live a ‘knee jerking’ life, we look pretty unstable and unnecessarily fearful and negative. So, live in the facts of the present moment, not the habits of the past.

Quinetha Frasier

I attend Alfred Street Baptist Church in Alexandria, VA where the Rev. Howard-John Wesley is my pastor. Since 2009, Alfred Street has been my family away from home. The relationships and bonds I have made there cannot be replaced. My husband and I attended Saturday service recently and Pastor Wesley preached a sermon regarding rejection. Anyone could identify with this sermon because at some point in our lives, we all have been rejected. But in the midst of his sermon, he said something that I though was profound. He said rejection that is not dealt with, leaves the residue of bitterness and bitterness leaves the stain of anger. That statement was an aha moment for me.

The statement he made me think about the times I felt like I was rejected and if I had gotten over it or was I still stained with anger. The anger experienced with rejection and not getting over the situation has a direct link to not forgiving. Ohhhh that’s a bad word. When someone has done you wrong or rejected you it is unimaginable that you would forgive that person and walk away. However, moving on and forgiving is the only way not to be stained with anger or wear the residue of bitterness. Forgiveness does not mean you forgot but it means that you have moved on and now walk in peace. Forgiveness also means that although you rejected me, I know that I am worthy. I can walk away knowing that somewhere in God’s Divine and providential plan for my life, I will be accepted!

That makes me want to shout! Aren’t you glad that no matter who has rejected you that God’s plan has acceptance around the corner? And if you are glad about that then how can you sit in the stain of anger.

Pastor Wesley posed the will of God was that you be rejected so he can bring you to a bigger and better place of acceptance.” That’s how awesome our God is.

So today I challenge you not to sit in the residue of bitterness or the stain of anger. I challenge you to walk away, forgive, and consider that if God closed that door it is because he wanted to open another.

So excited for the next door,

Felicia Smith

I have never been that good at decorating houses. Unlike most I never had the “American dream” of owning a home. So when my husband talks about redoing the house I immediately feel out of my comfort zone. Typically I am the subject matter expert and I know exactly what to expect going into any situation. I usually prepare a plan with estimates of how much it would cost and what we needed to do to get to the desired finish. This time was different. My husband and I decided we wanted to do new carpet and hardwood floors in the family room. We took a trip to Lowes and I had not done any research estimates or even tried to understand what was required. I figure it couldn’t be that bad. As the flooring specialist began to calculate to cost I almost lost my breath. I couldn’t imagine that this venture would cost so much money. I felt a bit embarrassed because all the questions I was asked I didn’t have a reference. I clearly did not do the research or counted the cost.

Apart of becoming who God wants you to be is counting the cost. No path or journey that you take will come without sacrifice and a price. The only way to be successful in your journey is to know what you need and how much it will cost you. You may not know exactly where you are going or even how long it will take you to get there but God knows. Take the time to seek God’s face and ask him to give you wisdom and understanding to know what is required in following the path he has for you.

So the last week and a half have been special and challenging all at the same time. My mother and I are doing a cleanse. This cleanse has been one of the biggest challenges for me because it is affects not only my eating, but my mental, physical and spiritual life. Talk about a gut buster! Geesh! The physical/dietary portion requires that we only eat food that comes from the ground in its natural state. That means fruits, veggies, and nuts, prepared by steaming only. Everyone that knows me, knows that I love my meat! I don’t think before this cleansing that one day went by that I didn’t have a piece of meat. Needless to say, it has been a challenge. However, my sister and mom have been graciously enough to hold me accountable- whether I like it or not. This week I went on my weekly run to Traders Joes to get all of the fruit and veggies needed to make it through the work week. Because I have been eating so many fruits, I decided that I better buy afruit and veggie wash. I took the newly purchased fruit back to my office to store in the refrigerator. In my haste to leave in the afternoon after work, my blueberries wasted on the carpet. I was so distraught at wasting a new batch of fruit, but then I remembered that I had my fruit and veggie wash so that I could scrub them real good and remove the impurities.

That night I went home and placed the blueberries in the wash twice and then decided to sift through the blueberries just a bit. As I examined the berries and its texture, I noticed that some of them were close to being spoiled. Anybody who eats fruit knows that spoiled fruit is really bad for the stomach and bad fruit sitting next to good fruit will make the good fruit spoil quicker. So I began to throw the bad blueberries away. As I continued to examine, I found more and more. It was amazing to me that after I washed away the filth I could clearly see the blueberries that need to be removed. The spirit reminded me of what the blueberries symbolized.

There is so much going on from day to day. We are exposed to so much that have the potential to become distractions-our jobs, family, community services. All of these things listed could be great, but they can also cloud the promises and path that God really has for us. Once so many distractions are piled on, it is hard to see the good from the bad or what we were called to do by God. The hard question is “How do we know what we should do if there is so much to do? “ God is calling us to clean up our inner man. Just as I washed the blueberries, He is asking us to begin to wash and purify our spirit, which will uncloud our judgment and path. Purifying our insides means taking time to get away from all the distractions and focus on God. This includes spending time in prayer and meditation, asking God to show you where you focus should be. God will immediately point out the areas where we should give up or spend less time doing in order to focus on his plan for our life. There is so much purpose flowing through your veins and you are talented. But all the talent and work in the world -without God’s purpose- will leave you empty and discouraged. Take God at his word and begin purify your spirit.

Focus today on spending time cleaning up your inner man and living on purpose.

Cleaning up the inside,

Felicia Smith

So my husband and step daughter loves basketball. They literally watch it every day all day during basketball season. She has played basketball for about three years and her game is really improving. Because of my family’s love for basketball, I make it a priority to attend her basketball games as much as I can. Now starting out I didn’t know much more about basketball than the bare bone basics. As I attended more and more games, I began to notice the different types of players and teams. I noticed that some teams were fast and could ball. They would move quickly, attack the ball, and do all the things that wowed the crowd. These girls were putting in the work. The thing that amazed me the most was the teams that were not as fast or athletic, had mastered the fundamentals. When they had to go to the foul line they made all their free throws. When they did get the ball they could make a two-point or a three-point shot without being fancy. What was eye opening for me was the teams that were fundamentally sound, most of the times would defeat the teams that were very athletic and had fancy foot work. I quickly learned that the game of basketball wasn’t about being fancy or even being the pure athlete, but it was all about knowing the fundamentals of the game.

As I reflected on the game of basketball, the Lord quickly showed me how basketball and our walk with Christ have similarities. As a new believer we are taught that the fundamentals of Christianity are prayer, scripture and loving your neighbor. Along the way, the culture teaches us the fancy footwork of Christianity like when to stand up, when to shout, and the words that every Christian should say. Most of the things that the culture teaches us may not be biblical , however, it is the things that we do to “wow” people and let them know that we can speak the Christian speak. However, if we really go back to the basics of what we were taught at the beginning of our Christian journey, we will find that all God wants from us is the fundamental things like prayer, reading the scripture, loving your neighbor, helping those in need and walking in obedience. Those fundamentals and basic principles are what help us to “win” in our walk with Christ.

So just like basketball, return back to the fundamentals of being a Christian. Let’s love our neighbors. Let’s pray day and night and keep God on our mind. Lets read God’s instructional manual, the bible, to understand his plans for our lives. Let’s remember the why Jesus die on the cross and live as if we are a follower of him. If we never tell anyone that we are a Christian, they can see it by the life we live. Let us remember and live by all the basic fundamentals of being a Christian.

Going back to the fundamentals,

Felicia Smith

I must admit that one of my guilty pleasures is reality TV. Some how watching the drama unfold is more entertaining than I thought. I tried not to start watching any new reality shows but I always seem to get sucked in. One of my favorites is the Braxton Family Values. It reminds me of how crazy families really can be. Among all the sisters, the one that cracks me up the most is Tamar Braxton. Tamar has a saying for everything. From “Dot.com” to “Get your life”. One never knows what is going to come out of her mouth. One of the saying that has stuck to me is “Lies you tell.”  I have found myself blurting that out more than a little bit.

As I was sitting one day and reflecting on last year I thought about the times that I may not have walked in absolute truth and the times that I allowed others to feed me lies that I knew were not true. I realized that in my journey to become closer to Christ I have to not only walk in truth and be transparent but also not allow others in my space to lie or be dishonest. I can no longer excuse bad behavior of others and claim that we are in good relationship. This was huge for me because over the past year I have questioned the authenticity of relationships in my life. Whether solid or squishy I had to acknowledge the role I played and whether I needed to mend or release the relationship.

Four months into the new year I challenge you to think about the “Lies you tell.” Think of the lies you told to be perceived in a good light. Think of the lies others told you and you knew they were we not walking in absolute truth, but you accepted it. Think of the lies you tell yourself that prevent you from growing in areas that have left you scarred in broken but the lies help to keep the wound scab without healing. We have to become our authentic self and demand the same from others around us.

In my Women’s bible study reading with Babbie Mason she said something about truth that stuck with me. “Truth is firm, faithful, and factual. It is absolute and not obsolete. Is it not subjective or based on opinion. It is not biased, prejudiced, or outdated. Truth is objective, its impartial, fair, just and based on facts alone. God is truth, and truth is defined by character alone.”

My prayer is that you would seek and ask him to reveal to you the areas where you need to walk in truth.

Learning the truth walk,

Felicia Smith

I wonder sometimes how the world was before we had navigation systems and MapQuest. Did we all know how to read a map? When I moved to the District of Columbia I bought a navigation system. Because I didn’t know where I was going, I had to rely on whatever directions it gave me. After a year or two after being there, I could look at the route and immediately tell if that was the way I wanted to go. The GPS would say turn right and I would turn left because in my mind I  knew more that the GPS. That didn’t always work out in my favor because the thing that the GPS was trying to take me away from…. I would walk right into and spend more time in traffic. My navigation system even taught me some routes that I never would have thought about. However, over time, I would take in its ‘little’ knowledge and then I would to go back on my own until I got lost and had to listen again. This relationship with my navigation system became all too common for me. It reminded me of my relationship with Christ. As a new believer, I studied my bible and every word that God said; I tried to obey to the letter. However, as I got older I began to swerve away from the instructions a little. This was because, in my mind, I thought that I knew a better way. However, when I felt as though I had lost my way, I returned to my first love to find my directions. Whenever we ‘take control’ of our lives and rely on what we believe to be right, it leads us to ‘dead ends’ or longer travel routes. However, the more we learn to depend on the guidance of God, we will get to where we are going much quicker.

On the road with His directions,

Felicia Smith

It is so easy to be distracted. With social media, emails, and cell phones there is always something that could take you off course from your purpose and God’s plan. It happens to all of us. We were on the right path and God is using us mightily and all of a sudden, a distraction comes that takes us off course and causes us to do things that are not in the will of God.

 We all remembered the story of Whitney Houston. She was a beautiful woman with a voice that we knew was a blessing from God. When she sung it felt like doors opened up.  But Whitney struggled and sometimes distractions got the best of her. She struggled with drug abuse and it ultimately lead to her untimely death. But up until the day she passed away, her gift of singing was still present and she still could sing to the angels. Her voice was a gift from God and although she struggled with sins, God still allowed her to bless the lives of others through singing.

Sometimes, as human beings, when we sin or fall out of the will of God, we invalidate the gift god has given us. But when God has gifted us with a talent no matter what wrong turns we may take, he still allows us to operate in our gift. If someone is homeless and a mathematician, no matter what happens in their life to get them to the place of homelessness, they are still excellent at Math. God did not take the person’s ability to do math because of homelessness.

No matter what life brings or the sins you have committed, God has forgiven you and he still expects you to operate in your gift. Do not be deceived by the enemy in thinking that you shouldn’t do what God has called you to do because of the mistakes you have made. Repent. Turn around. And continue to do the work of God.

My family in Christ, my prayer for you today is that you operate in your gifts and do not be discouraged by those who try to invalidate your gift because of the mistakes you made. Then ask God to show you the times when you have invalidated others gift based on their sins and repent to God for that judgment. God knew before the foundation of the earth that you would sin but yet he continues to bless you and he expects you to use your gift to do the same. Operate in your gift today.

A man’s gift maketh room for him and bringeth him before great men.

Proverbs 18:16

India Arie is one of my favorite artists of all times. I am probably a dying breed of people who listen to the lyrics of a song and use that to decided if I will continue to listen. India Arie has the lyrical ability to reach into the core of who I am and make me examine myself. Her newest album Songversations had a song call Break the Shell. A portion of the song says

A life without pain is a wolf in sheep’s clothes

Cause if you listen to the lessons that it holds

You’ll find the gold

Child it’s time to break the shell

Life’s gonna hurt but it’s meant to be felt

You cannot touch the sky from inside yourself

You cannot fly until you break the shell

The lyrics continue to go into great depth about things in life that causes us to build a shell. Just as a caterpillar builds a shell to grow and be protected, so do we. Things happen in our life that causes us to shelter ourselves from pain and hurt from the past. Life quickly teaches us how to guard ourselves from the hurt and pain we once felt. However, sometimes we hold on to the shell and never let go. We become accustomed to not giving people and or goals our all for fear of feeling that pain or hurt again. Sure there is nothing wrong with protecting ourselves but at some point in time we have to break the shell.

The interesting thing about a caterpillar is that when it is ready to fully mature it goes into a cocoon. Going into a cocoon or a shell is the final step before becoming a beautiful butterfly that can soar and live the purpose it was made for. If a caterpillar never leaves its shell it can never fulfill its’ God given purpose. Shells make you a caterpillar. Caterpillars that break the shell fly into high heights. However, until it breaks the shell it is stuck on the ground. The messages that God gives you can’t be told until you break the shell. The friend that God put you in place to minister to cannot receive your ministry until you break the shell. The young lady who gets pregnant out-of-wedlock will not understand the gift that is growing inside of her womb until you break the shell.

Today is your day! Pray and ask God to help you to begin to break the shells of life that keep you from fulfilling the purpose of God. God loves you so much and he wants you to be a witness for him if only you can break the shell.

Becoming a butterfly,

Felicia Smith