I want it, and I want it now. That has been my life’s motto. I would do whatever it took in my power to get it done and quickly. I believed why put off for tomorrow what you can do today. So I pushed! I pushed myself and everyone around me to push the limits and boundaries. Then my son was born and that motto didn’t work anymore. Pushing him to hard sometimes cause him to move backward. My son taught me that sometimes you can’t push. Sometimes just making one step, no matter how small, in the right direction is all you need. I also learned that sometimes you have to be still and let God move. This has been very difficult, because if I can make fix it, I will. But with my son’s situation, I can’t. He is receiving the best care possible, and I have to let him take his time and get better each day. He has been my greatest test of patience. Somedays I win, somedays I lose, but I am still in the fight and patiently waiting.

Learning Patience,

Felicia Smith

When Moses led the Israelites out of Egypt, many were nervous and questioned whether they would survive the journey to the promise land. The Israelites complained about not having food to eat or what they called Manna—bread from heaven. When Moses went to God on their behalf, he told God about the Israelites complaints. God told Moses that he would send down Manna daily from heaven to provide them with food to eat. Imagine not having to go to the grocery store or work because God rain down the food you needed daily. How amazing would that be?

God may not rain down Manna from the sky daily, but he is still providing Manna. What I call modern day manna. When I started this journey, I never had to worry about the day- to-day things of life. God provided me with an awesome job! A job I don’t have to worry about losing because I’m going through this life event. God also provided financially. He provided us with excellent insurance coverage that as the medical bills begin to roll in, I didn’t have to worry about paying them because my insurance covered 98% of them. He provided me a beautiful home life that after I spend sometimes 10 hours or more at the hospital, I can relax in peace.

God provides modern day manna to me everyday. Sometimes you have so much going on that you can’t recognize what God is providing to you. The things you don’t have to worry about, the bills that you are able to pay, the job you have, and the car you drive is modern day manna. Know that even when you can’t see it, or it doesn’t look like a big deal, God is still providing, making ways, and clearing paths so that you can receive manna from on high.

Living on Manna,

Felicia Smith