This post is overdue so I am sure it is meant for someone to read, because of the opposition I was up against to write it. I’ve always known that as a Christian faith is really important. Believing in God, and his ability to mover and deliver is at the forefront of Christianity. But faith became real for me in the NICU. The NICU taught me that faith is not passive but direct, powerful, purposeful and very intentional. I have shared with you in the past that my son overcame three illnesses and two surgeries. One of these illness/infection was very severe and it happened suddenly. Before I knew it, his nurse asked me if I wanted to have him baptized. At that moment, the holy spirit assured me that he would be fine, but when the doctor and nurse told me that it looked bleak, the enemy flooded my thoughts with doubt and despair, and I almost fed into the gloom and doom. My sister’s boyfriend reminded me that my prayers, energy, and faith could bring him through. Although approximately 40% of babies die from this infection, I declared that my son would not. He would be in the 60% category. I sat by his bedside, prayed, spoke life over him, and told him about God and the work he had in-store for him. This was my faith in action. I just couldn’t believe that God would deliver my son, so I had to declare it, pray it, and remind my son of it. I didn’t lose faith that my son’s life was a part of God’s divine plan. This moment taught me true, raw and tried faith.

Today I share with you that God wants our faith through action. He wants us not only to say we believe but mean it with all our hearts so much that the devil in hell can’t change your mind. Believing and having faith requires action. Spend time this week asking God to strengthen your faith. I am a witness that somewhere in your journey, God will require it.

I am naturally a person that keeps things to myself. Growing up my sisters even called me secret squirrel, because I always kept things to myself. Over the years, this hasn’t gotten much better. For various reason, I try to keep things to myself and do things myself. When I went on bedrest, my first instinct besides taking it all in, was to not bother anyone. I didn’t want people to worry about me, or ask me many personal questions. I was in the hospital for almost two weeks before I began to reach out, and let people know my situation. To my surprise, the outburst of love and support was amazing. I began to get cards, flowers, visits, text, phone calls and etc. When I went home to be on bed rest, some of my friends would bring my husband and me food, offer to run errands and clean the house. I was amazed, because I didn’t think people cared as much, or that I had formed close bonds. Even now I still have friends that reach out to me on a weekly basis and offer assistance.

From this process, I learned how to allow people into my space, and accept their help. I learned that it’s OK to share, and not be so afraid of people judging me or my situation. I learned that although I may not have a lot of family here, I have a community. A community of people who genuinely cares about me, and want to help if I only open myself up to it.

Ecclesiastes 4:9-10 says Two are better than one, because they have a good reward for their toil. For if they fall, one will lift up his fellow. But woe to him who is alone when he falls and has not another to lift him up!

I have been lifted by my community, and have learned that it is ok to open and let people in.

As a child, one of my favorite poems was Footprints. This poem described a metaphor of a person walking with God on the beach. The person recalls two sets of footprints signifying that God is always walking with her. But when the journey became difficult, and she experienced some obstacles, she no longer saw two sets of footprints—just one. She was perplexed because God told her that he would always walk with her. When she asked God why there was only one set of footprints during the most difficult times, God replied that when the journey was to difficult, he carried her.
This poem means so much more to during this chapter of my life than it has ever before. There are still days that I become overwhelmed with this journey. I feel weak and helpless. I literally tell God that I can’t make it through the day. God often reminds me that in my weakness he becomes strong. In those moments when I declare my weakness those footprints in the sand go from two to one.
Society teaches us that we should always be strong and never show any weakness—especially as women. But in our Christian journey, the only way to become strong in Christ is to confess your weaknesses. 2 Corinthians 12:9 declares God saying “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.”

If you are in a place in your life where you want to see the power of God, you need to declare to God your weaknesses. Be open, honest, and blunt with him. Believe me, if anyone can take it, it’s God! Allow God to carry you in your time of weakness, and rebuild yourself in areas where you have been torn down. This journey is for the fastest, or the strongest, but for the one who holds out to the perfect end.

Still being carried

Felicia Smith