One of the hardest but most freeing lessons that I have learned is forgiveness. I have experienced heartbreak, betrayal, slander, backlash and many other things that have cause me to bring experience unwanted emotions. Some would say that some of the offenses were unforgivable. My hardest moment of forgiveness I remember like yesterday. I felt like my heart had literally been broken into two pieces. The lie and betrayal had brought me to a place of anger and sadness that I had never been before. I felt in that moment that I never wanted to see or hear from this person again. The anger caused me to carry the hurt inside of me and replay the story to anyone that would listen. The more I told the story, the more I relived that event and it was definitely unhealthy for me. Meanwhile, the person that offended me had moved on and I was still left holding the offense. At that point I had a choice to make. Either I continue to relive the hurt or I can get up, pray, and forgive the offender. Once I forgave the offender I never bought it up the offense again and I was able to function in the presence of the offender without holding malice in my heart.

This lesson in forgiveness taught me that forgiveness it not to excuse the offense or diminish what happened but forgiveness is really about healing the wounds inside of me. Forgiving doesn’t mean that the offense didn’t happen or charge anyone as right or wrong but forgiveness means that the sting of the offense is working to be erased. As a Christian, I had to ask myself how could I pray and ask God to forgive me if I am not forgiving those around me. If we proclaim to be Christ like we must strive to live our lives as Christ would and that would be to forgive.

Lesson 1 of my 20s: Forgiveness is for me and not the offender.